Cell Phones. December 16, 2010

It’s a while since I have written a blog, which is a good indicator that life is beginning to be back to “normal” – albeit in the Brazilian sense. My life has settled into a pattern of predictability that no longer startles, amuses or catches me unawares. Maybe I am getting used to the eccentricities of living here and now take them for granted. Sitting endlessly in the back of the car, stuck in traffic is the norm. Not being understood when I open my mouth to speak is happening less and less often so the Portuguese teacher must be doing something right, and with a new circle of really good friends, there is plenty to do and occupy my time.

Yesterday, though, the reality of living here reared its ugly head again. I needed a new cell phone.

Ever since I arrived, I have been using the “emergency” cell phone from the office. Before I could get one of my own, I needed to jump through all sorts of visa hoops, most of which have now been sorted, so with obstacles out of the way, there is no reason not to get one.

My search started with the inevitable, “Marcelo, I need a cell phone.” He has never yet let me down and so he dropped me off at the local shopping mall and I went merrily on my way, only to be dazzled by a mass of posters offering amongst other things, the daily special / bonus plan / free cell phone/ pay as you go, etc. etc.

Plano B. “Marcelo I need you to come with me to the stores”. So I returned, Marcelo in tow to help me. Before long we had worked out which of the phone companies to chose. It actually wasn’t that difficult. When your driver, husband and husband’s secretary are with the same company, and as they make up about 80 per cent of my calls, it would be plain madness to use anyone else, given the free air time, Vivo to Vivo.

Now, in the States, you go to the phone shop, decide on a plan and they tell you which phones the plan come with for free, unless you want to upgrade etc, etc... Here it is almost the opposite. Pick a phone. Okay where to start? I have to admit that I am a bit of a techno pigmy and as far as I am concerned, all I do is phone and text. Emma might grab it once in a while to take a photo and I guess if I were in a car accident a camera would be useful but really not that necessary.

I hadn’t even opened my mouth when three phones appeared. Marcelo clearly knows my capabilities and had given them a brief that:-
a, it has to be simple
b, it has to have a big keypad and
c. no, we don’t need masses of technology.

( Steve, it has to be said has an i-phone 4g which is great for everything except making phone calls)

So, cell phone chosen. R$ 169.00 (US$ 100.00) credit card - sorted.

I am being allowed to keep the phone number of the cell phone that I have been using up until now, which is good, because it is a pain to have to change the number and to have to tell everyone.

You would think it was a matter of changing over the chip and all would be well. Wrong. Having paid for the phone, Marcelo then had to ring some sort of help desk to get the number and all the contact details changed over. He was on the phone for about 20 minutes, gabbling away in Portuguese, hardly any of which I understood. What the heck was going on? It seems that in order to transfer everything, the shop can’t do it and it is all done remotely.

Okay, new phone, existing number and details transferred.

So what about a payment plan? Again a huge array of plans, minutes, texts, internet –the lot. No, I want none of it; all I need is pre pay as you go. Given our track record with the length of time we stay anywhere, I do not want to be tied to a plan with penalty clauses.

“Marcelo, please ask them to put R$ 100 (about US$ 60) in the phone.” Not possible was the reply. “What?”
“No,” he said, “we have to go to the supermarket to recharge the phone”

My response was unprintable.

So off we head to the supermarket. The express check outs don’t do it so having stood in line there, thinking I only had one item it would be okay but no, I was redirected to another line to wait some more.

I held up the phone and said “re-charge” (only in Portuguese). Okay what is my plan? “Vivo”.
What is my DDD number? “My what?” How the heck do I know? Where is Marcelo when I need him? The answer is sitting in the car looking after the dog.
“Marcelo what is a DDD number?”
“11” he replied – ah – the penny dropped our area code.

Back to the check out.

Vivo, 11 and the phone number. How much to put on? I could put as little as R$ 3.50 (about US$ 2.00) or as much as R$ 100. Who would recharge their phone with R$ 3.50? Beats me. So R$ 60 later I have a working phone, with minutes, with contact details and a menu in English. What more can a girl ask for?

How about a voice mail box?

That requires a manual. Okay off to the computer to download the manual in English.

Beats me but I have read and re- read the manual 3 times now and there is no instruction to set up a voice mail box. The instructions are on the phone – in Portuguese.

This is a job for Solange, Steve’s assistant, but I have had enough of cell phones for today so that can be tomorrow’s task.