Man nesting. Sunday June 20, 2010

Our furniture arrived six weeks ago tomorrow. Six weeks is psychologically important to me because it is the length of time I give myself in any move to have the house straightened. This includes hanging curtains, pictures and getting rid of all the packing boxes. My mantra is that if it isn’t done within this six week period, then it won’t get done at all. Boxes left unpacked will never be unpacked until they reappear in the next location.

The key reason for this is that we never know how long we are going to be in any given location. In 23 years of marriage, we have moved house 13 times. The shortest was Israel ( 2 months ) the longest the United States, ( 4 years in the same house).

So this week I have had two men in the house most days, hanging pictures and curtain poles. They are the men that work in the development and by day, they keep the communal areas meticulously clean, do all the gardens and take care of the swimming pools. At the end of the day, they freelance, so in my case it is hanging about 150 pictures and changing light bulbs (there is probably a whole blog on light bulbs to come in case you were wondering what the big deal is on changing light bulbs).

Now it is the weekend and rather than have the two handymen come back, Steve wants to finish off. As he sees it, having him contribute in some manner is an essential part of the home making process – over a few drinks the other night we decided it must be “man nesting”.

Man nesting very categorically involves power tools, testosterone and the oldest pair of jeans in the wardrobe. In Steve’s case it also means announcing to the family that this weekend is when he will be Mr. D.I.Y. and in honor of the event he isn’t going to shave. More manliness.

He used to be in the Royal Navy and an everlasting trait is that everything has to have a place. In particular, the bathroom. Towel rails have to be hung in just the right place and he wasn’t prepared to leave that very important task to the gardeners. So as I type this, my side of the bathroom is littered with rawl plugs, spirit levels and all manner of power tools as the original hooks and towel rails get taken down and replaced with more appropriate hardware in more appropriate places.

Steve doesn’t do much in the way of D.I.Y. but when he does, it is methodically planned and generally very well executed. He really does have the “measure twice/cut once” mentality – I guess from having got it wrong in the past. He is also a great believer that if you are going to do anything, then having the right equipment is absolutely essential. More power tools and another trip to hardware store are in order.

Trying to translate “spackle” (poly-filler for the Brits) was interesting but we found it in the end.

But as it is when men barbeque, they have to have an assistant to hand them everything the minute it is needed. That assistant of course is me. Actually Steve isn’t too bad and the big plus is that he does actually clear up after himself. Probably because he doesn’t trust me to put said power tools away in the right place.

So by this afternoon we should be finished. At this stage I would usually have the housewarming party all planned as well, but a lot of people are away in July and August to avoid the “freezing” Sao Paulo winter (the locals are complaining of the cold but it is mid winter’s day tomorrow and the temperature is 28 degrees Celsius/82 degrees Fahrenheit) so we are now looking at having a party in September. The advantage of that is that we will have met more people to invite, and maybe it will be cool enough to actually use the fireplace – something we must do since I managed to find some very nice firewood and even pre-cut kindling (which Steve was a bit disappointed by since he now has no excuse to get his axe out).

Today is Father’s Day in the United States. I think a day of testosterone fueled man nesting is the perfect way to spend it. Oh, and watching Brazil play the Ivory Coast in the World Cup. The only thing missing is a Vuvuzela.