Reality Check 2

We have just come back from a weekend in the south of Brazil at a place called Florianopolis (aka Floripa). It is about 1 hour’s flying time from Sao Paulo and boasts a great climate and beaches.

Sadly for him, Steve was working for the majority of the time. His company was having an educational weekend for Leukemia doctors and three specialists had been flown in from Canada and the United States to give presentations, do Q & A sessions and share their expertise.

We arrived at the small provincial airport and were met by our driver for the weekend and his side kick. It was a case of the Little and Large show. The driver had to be over 6 feet 6 inches tall and looked as though he should have been playing NBA basketball or for a West Indian cricket team as their fast bowler. The side kick had to be at least a foot shorter and I wondered who would be protecting whom in the event of an “incident”.

We got into the car and it has to be said it was not my lovely Mercedes. I hope that the only thing wrong with it was that the exhaust was hanging off, as every time we went over a pothole or speed hump, there was the most awful noise of metal and tarmac making contact. Our driver was oblivious to the noise so we looked at each other and thought that if he isn’t too worried then neither should we be.

The driver actually spoke some English and one of the first things he told us was that on Sunday, the day of our return, there was a local football derby and in order to avoid the traffic, we had to leave the hotel at 12.30. Upon enquiring as to the time of the football match, we were told that it was 4 pm. Given that the journey time from hotel to airport is around 35 minutes, that implied that the traffic would have to be building up really early ahead of the game to cause us any inconvenience.
My suspicious mind made me think that probably he intended to go to the match, so I casually asked him if he supported one of the teams and of course it did. It turned out that the side kick supported the other so that was the topic of conversation for the remainder of the journey.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Steve spoke to the organizers of the event and it seemed as though the presence of a football game was well and truly taken into account with timings etc. They thought that 12.30 was probably a bit on the cautious side but as one of the main speakers had to be at the airport for around 1 o’clock, it made sense to wind things up a little on the early side.

Fast forward to Sunday, the weather had been beautiful, yours truly topped up her tan, doctors were educated about acute myeloid leukemia and it was time to leave. Little and Large duly appeared, looking it has to be said, out of something from the Blue’s Brothers. Dark suits, dark shades - quite ridiculous really but we went with the flow.

We had a different car and so the undercarriage didn’t scrape the ground, but this time, said driver had the seat so far back and so far reclined that he was almost horizontal. I always sit behind the passenger’s seat so poor old Steve had to literally squeeze himself into the tiniest of gaps and sit with legs completely crushed against the back of the seat in front. Not a happy bunny.

Well, whether it was because the Chinese Grand Prix had been on that morning or whether our driver really did have a date at the football match I don’t know, but I can honestly say it was one of the worst journeys I have been on. Speed limits – why bother obeying them, corners – well, let’s see how much we can make the tyres squeal, and as for the passengers, well clearly not of importance. Having taken 35 minutes to get to the hotel on Thursday night with no traffic, the return journey took no more than 25 minutes and that included a small delay for the tiny bit of extra traffic around the stadium.

Now, it is a policy of Steve’s company, that any driver or security detail has to stay at the airport until after the plane has taken off. This might seem a bit over the top but it is the rule. Just in case a flight doesn’t leave, they want to make sure that the passengers have safe and secure transport out of the airport. Well, Little and Large didn’t even wait for us to make it through the airport doors before they rushed off – tyres still squealing. Not very impressive but we were in one piece, Steve was recovering from having been cooped up in the back of the car and the thought of a 4 hour wait, all of a sudden didn’t look so bad.

Needless to say, Marcelo was a very welcome sight when we finally arrived back in Sao Paulo.

In a few weeks’ time, we are heading to Rio for the weekend to do something similar. I have a faint suspicion that Marcelo might be coming too. Watch this space.