This past weekend we went to the beach for the first time. To be precise we went to a resort called Riviera de São Lourenço about 120 kilometers (75 miles) outside of Sao Paulo. It took 3 hours to get there on Friday, which, by all accounts is not uncommon. Twenty five miles per hour is fast by Sao Paulo standards. At least one accident and the usual Friday traffic hampered our progress, but hey, we were in vacation mood so “nao problem”.
We arrived in time for lunch and afterwards set off for the beach. I had been warned that in Brazil, having the bare essentials covered up is de rigueur, but pretty much anything thereafter is fine. The main thing to remember is that less is definitely more. It doesn’t matter what shape or size you are, bikinis are the only thing for the beach. Swim suits and two piece cover ups, (commonly known as Tankinis) are stared at as much to say “what the heck are you wearing?”
Emma (14 going on 21) decided that before she even went to the beach we had to go and buy her a new two piece. We did and it is reasonably modest. I on the other hand, thought to hell with what is expected and donned my safe Lands End two piece, covering up everything.
Well, they don’t call them “dental floss” for nothing. For the body beautiful there is the three triangle variety with the thinnest of straps in order to maximize tan and minimize white lines. For the more modest there are thongs moving up to the four triangle variety and so on. Nappies (diapers for the Americans) complete the picture – go figure.
I can honestly say that it doesn’t matter what shape or size you are, more stares were elicited by not wearing a bikini than by wearing one that is for sure.
Even for the men. Some were wearing shorts, others Speedos. Some even wore both and took off the shorts to reveal the Speedos. Not a pretty sight in most cases.
I remember our first and only trip to a public swimming pool in France and was amazed to find that the men were obliged to wear Speedos rather than shorts. At first I thought it was just the French being, well, French, but then someone explained to me that it was for hygienic reasons – ugh.
In the Philippines, there was a massively Australian influence of the “slip it, slap it slop it”. For the uninitiated, Slip on a shirt, Slop on sunscreen and Slap on a hat. They encouraged swimsuits that were more like mini wet suits, commonly known as solar suits. They were designed to stop as much sun reaching the body as possible. The children wore them and with the fierce Manila sunshine on their then, very young and European skin it seemed a necessary and wise precaution.
But back to Riviera de São Lourenço. My untanned body and Cover Up swimwear was too much. I didn’t like the attention and craved anonymity. I caved and that evening went and bought a two piece. Stretch marks, scars, middle age spread and cellulite, it doesn’t matter. Anything really does go on the beach in Brazil.
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