Thursday February 10th 2010

There is something that keeps me completely sane in any new environment, and that is the presence of other women in completely the same boat. Women have the ability to adapt and cope with almost any situation that their husbands, boyfriends and partners throw at them. I almost feel sorry for men that don’t have anywhere near the same experience. They might think that they do, but the reality is that they don’t.

When I heard I was coming to Sao Paulo, the first thing I did was contact the British Consulate. They are usually a mine of information about local groups that are available and they put me in touch with someone who has been here for ages and is totally brilliant about everything in Sao Paulo. Then I contacted the British school and spoke to someone on the welcoming committee of the PTA. At that stage, we didn’t know whether our daughter would be joining us or whether she would prefer to stay in the USA (her choice). "No problem, when was I coming, how could they help?"

Next call to an ex-Manila chum who, like me is a global ex-pat. Her husband works for one of the international banks that have a presence everywhere in the world. A few emails later and yet another contact to help with information regarding Sao Paulo – where to live, schools, lifestyle and what to expect, etc.

So here are several women that have never met me offering me all sorts of advice and help. When I arrived for my “look see” visit I felt as though I knew the place already.

Fast forward two months and we arrived, living in a hotel and with just a list (albeit short) of contacts.

Now, here is where women come into their own. Everywhere we have lived (with the exception of Stockholm which I always maintain was dull, dark, damp and depressing) there has been some sort of ex-pat Women’s group. These organisations are amazing. They bring together women from everywhere in the world, help them with everything they need to know and welcome “newcomers” as though they are long lost friends.

Within a week I had been to their first lunch, met someone to dog walk with, and was invited for lunch. Lunch was followed by an invitation to watch England at rugby in the 6 nations and our introduction to the St Andrews’s Society of Sao Paulo. In between there was an invitation to dinner from one of the initial contacts whose house just happened to have been flooded. No matter as long as we didn’t mind the damp.

Yesterday was the first of the monthly coffees and it was awash with people, all in the same situation, here away from home, looking for help, contacts and a social life. Put a bunch of women together and the results are amazing. They organize activities, outings, playgroups and in a word are fabulous.

Forget the “old boy network”; it is the “new girl network” that really moves the world.